A review of David Hagopian and Douglas Wilson’s book, Beyond Promises: A Biblical Challenge to Promise Keepers

Several years ago, an old friend with whom I had lost contact, called to see how things were going. As we got caught up on kids and jobs, how fat we were getting and how much hair we were losing, my friend asked me if I had become involved with Promise Keepers. He then gave an impassioned commercial for the benefits of this wonderful organization for Christian men, teaching them how to be a real man, fulfill their duties towards their wives and children, etc. I finally interrupted him saying, “Hey Bob, all that sounds great, but I am already involved in just that kind of ministry, it’s called a Reformed church.” It struck me that this great new movement with Christian superstars and big rallies was just another example of broad evangelical hype on something that always has been fundamental to historic Reformed orthodoxy.

Well, I was wrong. There is far more to Promise Keepers than I realized. David Hagiopian and Doug Wilson’s new book, Beyond Promises, provides an inestimable service to the Christian community by analyzing the underlying theology and practices of an undisputedly powerful evangelical movement. Twenty two regional conferences in 1996 expect almost 1.5 million men participating. More than 70,000 pastors showed up at the Georgia Dome for a full fledged stadium-styled conference. 1997 hopes to see another million man march in Washington.

Written in an irenic spirit, Beyond Promises does a marvelous job of critiquing this movement, giving full credit where due, without taking the cheap shots some of us would find irresistible. They fully acknowledge that Promise Keepers has identified a fundamental problem with American culture in general, and the evangelical church in particular; Christian men are wimps. This spirit of trying to work with Promise Keepers, rather than just criticize them runs throughout the book. However, their gentle manner makes their critique all that more effective. And critique it they do. For although Promise Keepers has correctly identified the problem, without a fully consistent Biblical world view to offer as an alternative, their solutions are little better then the left over scraps of the Men’s movement, baptized with an occasional Bible verse and liberally sprinkled with psycho-babble. Once again, Evangelical Christianity has proven there is no fad so silly, that the Church will not scrounge the Humanist trash heap for a few forgotten crumbs.

Beyond Promises is broken down into four parts: What Promise Keepers does right, some causes for concern, a Biblical analysis of the actual promises made and a concluding chapter offering some constructive challenges. The authors also weave a Biblical alternative throughout the book. Some weaving is better than others and personally found their theology of the law a bit confused. However, for the most part, Beyond Promises actually provides what Promise Keepers themselves lack, a consistent, Biblical alternative to cultural models.

Beyond Promises credits Promise Keepers for identifying the crises in masculine confidence, pointing out male abdication of their role and calling, the feminization of the church, etc. Furthermore, Promise Keepers is to be commended for their striving to create a real spiritual hunger in men for a closer relationship with Christ and seeking to help men to stand up and be counted. Not the least of the praises given is that Promise Keepers has earned the hatred and fear of the feminists. Hey, the gotta be doing something right, right! Wilson and Hagopian sum up the good points of Promise Keepers by saying, “In many ways, the movement is well…full of promise!”

But, sadly, the promise is often unfulfilled. Starting in the second section, the authors expose the underlying theology of Promise Keepers, and what they find is sometimes not good. In the “Gospel of Guyhood,” Wilson and Hagopian state that “the gospel proclaimed by some Promise Keepers spokesman is, with a few notable exceptions, nothing short of moralism, pure and simple, To be saved, we must do.” How could it be otherwise? American evangelicalism long ago sold its Reformed heritage for Arminian pottage. It should not surprise us that a movement with such a mass appeal must meet the lowest common theological denominator.

This results in consistently mixed messages. While Promise Keepers desire ardently to help men be men, in the chapter entitled “The Tea Party Mentality” the authors reveal that inadvertently, Promise Keepers actually tries to make men, more like women. They lack a consistent Biblical understanding of the roles and relationship between men and women, and therefore recommend that men become more sensitive, sharing, caring individuals; in other words, they want men to relate to other men, as women relate to other women. Though Promise Keeper authors and speakers extol the family, they sometimes end up undermining the Biblical concepts of headship and submission on which a Biblical family is based. In fact, Promise Keepers seems to downplay any authority except their own. To critique Promise Keepers in some people’s eyes, is to critique God.

Beyond Promises also identifies the fundamental flaw in a Promise Keepers key concept: the notion of “mentoring.” Men, need to be mentored by other men, according to Promise Keepers, men who will teach them, train them, stand alongside them, support them and hold them accountable. Who could argue with this? But it is not the need that is the problem, but the solution. God has already provided such men for “mentoring,” they are called “elders.” Of course as Rushdoony has repeatedly stated, “most elders think their job is sitting in judgment on the pastor, rather than governing the church.” Promise Keepers are certainly right in finding the problem, it’s just that they don’t have a Biblical solution. Interesting that Promise Keepers chooses terminology from the business world, “mentoring” rather than the Biblical term “discipleship.”

The authors do give Promise Keepers full credit though for drawing a clear line in the sand. “In no small measure, Promise Keepers has had the positive impact which it has had because of this emphasis on integrity and purity, straight up.” In the area of sexual purity, Promise Keepers faces the situation head on and calls men to Biblical morality. However, the problem is that Promise Keepers does not always speak with a clear voice. Some say one thing, others say another. For example, Promise Keeper spokesman Robert Hicks wants young men to celebrate sins as “rites of passage.” Or, in a Promise Keeper book, “Strategies for a Successful Marriage” co-authored by a divorced man, divorce is seen as an unhappy event, something painful, unfortunate, but never discussed in moral, covenantal terms, there is no mention of sin, compromise, moral failure, broken vows, etc.

Furthermore, in this same book on marriage (dealing with promise #4) Beyond Promises says that an assumption is made that the feminine expectations for marriage are accurate, and that the masculine ones are not. Hence the husband must learn to conform his behavior to his wife’s expectations. Men are exhorted to discover their wives expectations and then commit themselves to doing everything within their power to meet them. But shouldn’t a man ask first, are those expectations Biblical? Marriage exists first to glorify God. Meeting perceived needs can only occur if God is glorified, if husband and wife understand their specific Biblical roles, duties, and responsibilities.

Beyond Promises rightly states that God gives each man a dominion calling and that, a wife’s calling is to help her husband. “While a man must honor, love, and cherish the one given to him to help in his ordained task, he must not begin to think that he was created for her. He was created to do something else under God, and she was created as ideally suited to help him do it.” Promise Keepers does not always seem to understand this.

The same kind of mixed message also comes through regarding parenting. While the authors cite favorably James Dobson’s clear Biblical instruction regarding discipline in Seven Promises of A Promise Keeper,  they then note that the very next chapter takes away with the left hand what the right hand just gave. They analyze a family confrontation where a college student has done something which he knew would make his father angry, simply because of peer pressure from friends at school. In other words, the opinion of his peers was more important to him than the wishes of his parents. The father is commended for not blowing his stack, but the son is never confronted with his disrespect and contempt for his parents. This is hardly Biblical parenting. One of the greatest gifts we can give our children is to teach them to respect and honor their parents; it is the first commandment with a promise! Of course Dad should not have blown up, but “the father grievously failed when he refused to address a profound problem that his son clearly had an inability to resist ungodly pressure, even when the price of capitulation is hurting the family.” But the author in question just doesn’t get it and therefore sends a confused message.

Though Promise Keepers stated intention is to “complement what the church is already doing,” the reality may be far different. Hagopian and Wilson state that “some of what it has taught may subtly undermine the local church in very serious ways.” They note that while downplaying the sacraments (which they commend), Promise Keepers has initiated a whole new series of rituals; e.g., the “closing night coronation” or the “blessing of pastors.” They also have adopted the now defunct “encounter group” mentality as the basis for a small group program. In effect, like certain other parachurch organizations, they recruit men out of the local church, motivate them with seminars, conferences, etc., which minimize crucial doctrinal issues and send those men back into the local church on “fishing” expeditions.

There is of course much more to be said about Promise Keepers, so buy the book! In fact, Beyond Promises should be required reading for anyone concerned about the impact of the Promise Keeper’s movement. It is a fair, even handed critique, easy to read with solutions rather than just endless criticism. Hagopian and Wilson are both committed to raising the standard of Biblical masculinity in the church. They have done a fine job. Buy an extra copy and start loaning it out.

Beyond Promises: A Biblical Challenge to Promise Keepers,